UCLA essay prompt FINAL

"Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations." 

I cant seem to focus on anything but the heat piercing through my skin and the moist air surrounding me. Although, I do feel a mild wind blowing in my direction making me feel a bit better than I did a few minutes ago. It’s always sunny or humid here and on the days that it’s not, its a pretty big deal for people like me. I dislike the heat or sweating for any matter. Where I come from; the beach, ‘poke’ (raw fish) bowls, Lau Lau (pork) and family is just some of the many things important to us. I come from a place you call paradise - Hawaii.

There were moments where Hawaii felt like paradise to me but most of the time, it felt normal. I was so numb and bored with the thought of beaches and paradise and nothing seemed amusing after a while. Then I noticed the amused look on mainlanders face when I told them I was from Hawaii and it's as if they saw me extra special. I never understood why they seen my world so fascinating until I started to become appreciative of the world I lived in. I realized that I lived in such a wonderful place. So special and unique in ways that only people from here could embrace the certain type of appreciative attitude. Althought my world didn't only consist of the "paradise" I lived in but also my family and friends. They were the ones who contributed to the world I lived in. Loving, encouraging and supporting me in all that I did. Growing up, my family centered our lives around God and being people who displayed his love and grace to those around us. Though I am flawed I believe that I'm a better person than who I would've been if God hadn't been important to my families values. My world is one that I know I can call different because it is my own.

Growing up as a little girl I’ve always been the type of person to want more than what I had. Whether it was more ice cream, more gifts, or even more time in a day. Although this time, I knew it was a different type of 'more'. My family and I try to take a trip once a year to visit family in Virginia, but we’ve also been to California and Nevada multiple times. There’s an exhilarating rush of excitement and confidence that I get when I’m in the mainland; a feeling that I don't get in Hawaii. As we drove through Rodeo Drive, I felt a bit more happier and I smiled much more. Just the simplicity of the atmosphere made me feel like there was so much more out there for me. It was the same feeling that I got when we drive through the loud streets of the Las Vegas Strip and down the silent yet awake streets of Virginia. I never fail to accumulate butterflies in my stomach or smile at the beauty and difference of it all. I came to the conclusion that it I was yearning for something new, something different. It didn't take me long to realize that the mainland had all that and more. Everything outside of this ‘tiny rock surrounded by water’ had beauty of its own and ever since then, I fell in love with the feeling of adventure and curiosity. I loved Hawaii but even as a young and innocent little girl, I knew exactly what I wanted and this was (add 'just?') the type of ‘more’ that I was craving.

As the years past, my dreams and desires changed. I've always had a passion for helping those around me whether it was listening to them vent or even something as simple as buying them lunch. In my first year of high school, I was forced to join AFJROTC by my dad. Little did I know that this unfavored decision would become a new dream and desire for myself. I wanted to join the United States Air Force. I realized that joining the military would mean that I could protect and help a whole nation with the little that I had. Not only would I be living out my passion of helping others but I would also be traveling the world, exploring and experiencing so much more events than an average person ever could. Before thinking of joining the military, I had planned to go to college first and get a 4 year degree. By taking this path, I would be given the advantage of joining the service as an officer. After talking to many people and considering many options and routes that I had, I realized that the Military also had so many more opportunities and doors available for me. 

Hawaii with no doubt has shaped my dreams and aspirations but also contributed to the person I am today. I wouldn't have the courage and bravery to move away from home and explore, if it wasn't for Hawaii. If I hadn't realized how different home was compared to the mainland at such a young age, I would stay in Hawaii forever. The difference of culture, atmosphere and people motivate me to get out of my comfort zone and become the person I've been longing to be. After many years of different seasons and phases and dreams and desires, I finally know what I want more of. 

Word Choice Olympics

1. It had been a year since Tim had been deployed to Iraq, leaving behind his newly wed wife and  three children. His wife Sally, had gone through a long period of tremendous stress and depression due to the many responsibilities that she needed to take on as a single parent while Tim was gone. Little did Sally know that Tim was also going through his own struggles of being depressed because of how long he had been away from his family. It has now been a year and Tim is now rejoined with his wife and three children. They ran into his arms as he embraced them and instantly he was filled with indescribable joy. Ever since then, neither Tim nor his wife were depressed.

2. At a young age Susan's father taught her how to kill, fight, and survive. Susan grew up in the country side and there had always been people loitering around their property, making it important that she knew how to do these things. It was a Friday afternoon on July 5, 1998 and Susan began to hear screaming and gunshots from their living room. The barn was only right outside of their home and being the brave country girl that she was, she followed the noise and inched her way through the barn house with her gun outstretched in front of her. Susan was never seen after that day.

3. It was the morning of Olympics in London and Jadine and Courtney contemplated in their hotel room hoping that they would win the US another Gold Medal. As they went into the spotlight, they put their heads down in shame knowing that they wouldn't succeed. Their opponents were tall and had such a greater advantage than they did, it was obvious. The game went on and Jadine and Courtney surprised even themselves as they scored twice as much as the girls on the other side of the net. "AND U.S WINS ONCE AGAIN!", the two girls pleaded for joy because they that they did it. Courtney fell to her knees and let out a deep cry of happiness and Jadine jumped up towards the sky.

4. Kayla was just like any other toddler girl hoping to one day become a princess or at least see one in Disneyland although that wasn't always the case. Kayla's parents both came from rough homes and trips were never a choice because money was always a problem. It was Kayla's 5th birthday and her parents wanted to give her what she has always dreamed of getting since she first saw a princess. They did all they could to make their daughters wish come true and after a whole year of sacrifices and saving, they made their little girls wish become a reality.



5. As devastating as it was, Drayden's parents were told that their child would never be able to hear. As a newborn baby, he would always cry because of the lonely silence that he was constantly surrounded by. After many tests and hearing instruments, they finally found one that would allow Drayden to hear. Months past and after six months of not hearing, this little boy could calmly rest in the hearing the comfort of his moms voice for the first time.

University of California Los Angeles College Essay draft

"Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations." 

I cant seem to focus on anything but the heat piercing through my skin and the moist air surrounding me. Although, I do feel a mild wind blowing in my direction making me feel a bit better than I did a few minutes ago. It’s always sunny or humid here and on the days that it’s not, its a pretty big deal for people like me. I dislike the heat or sweating for any matter. Where I come from; the beach, ‘poke’ (raw fish) bowls, Lau Lau (pork) and family is just some of the many things important to us. I come from a place you call paradise - Hawaii.

Many people wish to live or even visit this beautiful island and I definitely see why. The island of Oahu is 597 square miles, making this place seem smaller than what it already looks like on the map (a tiny dot so to say) but I like to believe that we’re all one big family. We greet each other with kisses on the cheek rather than just a handshake, we refer to every adult as “Aunty” or “Uncle” rather than Mr. or Mrs., and we call people our age cousins rather than friends. Every place that you visit has its differences and everywhere you go, there are different cultures. Although I believe that Hawaii is especially different and set apart from your normal and predictable “state” There is a sense of belonging and what we local people call, “Aloha” meaning ‘noun, interjection, friendly; hospitable; welcoming:’. Aloha can be displayed through hello’s and goodbye, I love you’s, Thank you’s and simply through a smile. That’s one thing I will always love and adore about Hawaii - the comfort and uniqueness of it all. 

Growing up as a little girl I’ve always been the type of person to want more than what I had. Whether it was more ice cream, more gifts, or even more time in a day. Although this time, I knew it was a different type of 'more'. My family and I try to take a trip once a year to visit family in Virginia, but we’ve also been to California and Nevada multiple times. There’s an exhilarating rush of excitement and confidence that I get when I’m in the mainland; a feeling that I don't get in Hawaii. As we drove through Rodeo Drive, I felt a bit more happier and I smiled much more. Just the simplicity of the atmosphere made me feel like there was so much more out there for me. It was the same feeling that I got when we drive through the loud streets of the Las Vegas Strip and down the silent yet awake streets of Virginia. I never fail to accumulate butterflies in my stomach or smile at the beauty and difference of it all. I came to the conclusion that it I was yearning for something new, something different. It didn't take me long to realize that the mainland had all that and more. Everything outside of this ‘tiny rock surrounded by water’ had beauty of its own and ever since then, I fell in love with the feeling of adventure and curiosity. I loved Hawaii but even as a young and innocent little girl, I knew exactly what I wanted and this was (add 'just?') the type of ‘more’ that I was craving.

As the years past, my dreams and desires changed. I've always had a passion for helping those around me whether it was listening to them vent or even something as simple as buying them lunch. In my first year of high school, I was forced to join AFJROTC by my dad. Little did I know that this unfavored decision would become a new dream and desire for myself. I wanted to join the United States Air Force. I realized that joining the military would mean that I could protect and help a whole nation with the little that I had. Not only would I be living out my passion of helping others but I would also be traveling the world, exploring and experiencing so much more events than an average person ever could. Before thinking of joining the military, I had planned to go to college first and get a 4 year degree. By taking this path, I would be given the advantage of joining the service as an officer. After talking to many people and considering many options and routes that I had, I realized that the Military also had so many more opportunities and doors available for me. 

Hawaii with no doubt has shaped my dreams and aspirations but also contributed to the person I am today. I wouldn't have the courage and bravery to move away from home and explore, if it wasn't for Hawaii. If I hadn't realized how different home was compared to the mainland at such a young age, I would stay in Hawaii forever. The difference of culture, atmosphere and people motivate me to get out of my comfort zone and become the person I've been longing to be. After many years of different seasons and phases and dreams and desires, I finally know what I want more of. 

Coming of Age poster draft

In my poster I decided to base the content off of the last sentence in my essay. "Different people come into your life for different seasons of your life" I hope to add a picture of me standing in the middle, holding hands with people and changing their opacity to resemble them in the different "seasons" and having them slowly fading out.

Colleges and Application Prompts

University of California, Los Angeles

http://admission.universityofcalifornia.edu/how-to-apply/personal-statement/

PROMPT:

The personal statement: • Offers us an understanding of you as a

unique individual within the context of your family, school, community and the world

• Provides us with information that may not be evident in other parts of your application

• Is a forum for you to explain how factors outside of your school environment have enhanced or impeded your ability to maximize available academic and intellectual opportunities

We use this information to increase our understanding of you as a whole person. In reading your personal statement we will consider the following:

• Your likely contribution to the intellectual and cultural vitality of UCLA

• Your personal background and experience

• Leadership and initiative in school and/or community organizations and activities

• Exceptional achievements, such as

recognition for special talents or

extracurricular activities • Employment or personal

responsibilities • Overcoming life challenges related to

personal or family situation, social or economic difficulties, lack of educational opportunities, or challenges particular to the urban or rural environments, including access to opportunities, participation in foster care, etc.

• How military service has been instrumental in developing your educational plans (if applicable)

Additional information tips for completing the personal statement can be found at: http://www.admissions.ucla.edu /prospect/PerStmt.htm

Pacific University of Oregon

http://www.pacificu.edu/

PROMPT: 

our application does not require you to submit an essay. In its place, however, we do ask you to submit a brief personal statement (250 to 500 words) - as a way to get to know you as a person and more than a collection of classes and test scores. Relax - there are no wrong answers. But we do ask you to consider grammar, spelling and the content of what you wish to express. The topic is up to you, but if you need some help getting started, here is an idea:

Freshman "Describe your professional and educational goals in conjunction with your selected major choice."

Transfers"Describe your professional and educational goals in conjunction with your selected major choice"

Seattle University

http://www.seattleu.edu/

http://www.seattleu.edu/undergraduate-admissions/freshmen/how-to-apply/ 

^ (internet wasn't working)

coming of age final essay

                                  It was the first day of high school and I was overwhelmed with emotions. It was a whole new campus filled with faces I've never seen before. I was scared but at the same time, I couldn't contain my excitement. I constantly wondered what this new place would have in store for me. After all, I was going to be here for the next 4 years. The most comforting part was that I knew my best friend would be here to experience every part of it with me.

       I shouldn't refer to her as a best friend because in fact, she was like a sister. She knew almost everything about me, some things that no one else knew.  When something happened, good or bad, small or big, she was the first to know. As cliche as it sounds, we were the best of friends. Although we experienced some of the best memories together, we also experienced the worse. From the lost of a family member to heartaches from boys; we went through it all. It was a blessing in so many ways but little did I know everything would all change.

       It was the first few weeks of school and I began to meet new people through my cousin and because of new friendships that we're being built, I slowly started to drift away from my best friend. She felt as if I had forgotten about her because of the new friends I was making and the new people that I was constantly hanging out with. Action in this case, spoke way louder than words. At that moment nothing seemed wrong and I was totally unaware of how selfish my actions were. I only cared about myself and my reputation. Rumors went around and gossip lingered in the air, half of which weren't even true. We started talking less to each other and more about each other. At first it wasn't bad, we were just "distant friends" After about a month, things were far worst than they were before. My best friend had become my enemy and I had become hers.

       Instead of running to each other in hallways, we walked past each other as if we never met. We unfollowed and blocked each other on every social network you could think of. It was hard for me to accept the fact that the closest person to me was now the farthest person from me. I cried every night for months because I felt so alone. I was new into high school and my bestfriend, along with my whole group of friends, decided to turned against me. Not only did I feel alone, but I knew that it was true. She went from knowing every single detail about me, to not knowing me at all. Same went for me, I didn't know who she was anymore. They say that pain changes you.. I agree. 

       It's been a year since this all happened but there are still days where I cry and wish things didn't change. In the midst of my loneliness and vulnerability, I learned that it is okay to be alone and that God has a purpose for everything we face, even if we don't understand it. It was in those moments where I discovered who I really was when I had no one there to remind me. Being the dependent person I was before, I would look for comfort in people and I would constantly rely on others to be there for me and keep me sane. Throughout this experience I learned to rely on myself and be my own bestfriend. I kept things to myself and built up walls around me so that I would never get close to someone again.. So that I gave no one the opportunity to hurt me. From then, my trust wasn't given out freely. Throughout this, I experienced a new level of strength that I never knew existed within me. We're starting to slowly talk again and become the friends we once were but I'm still learning new lessons through this whole situation. Someone once told me, "Different people come into your life for different seasons of your life" and I couldn't agree more with them.

Blog Revision

I changed my title to "Finding My Way" because I feel like it fits the season I'm going through. 'Finding My Way'  means exactly what it says. I'm trying to figure out who I am and so that is why I changed the title to a more suitable name for my blog. I also changed the background of my blog because I felt that it didn't suit my title. Rather, I put a picture of a path way because it perfectly portrays my title and it is relevant to one another. My old background seemed immature and it doesn't match who I am now. My new header does in some way show my graphic design skills because I was able to put together graphics in a more creative and artistic way rather than just one picture. By changing the texts accordingly to the content of the quote, it made a dramatic effect on the words. Lastly for my blog archive, I arranged it so it will organize the blog posts from newest to oldest and I also customized the way I wanted it to look to a certain point. I updated my blog and I feel that it suits me best.