coming of age final essay

                                  It was the first day of high school and I was overwhelmed with emotions. It was a whole new campus filled with faces I've never seen before. I was scared but at the same time, I couldn't contain my excitement. I constantly wondered what this new place would have in store for me. After all, I was going to be here for the next 4 years. The most comforting part was that I knew my best friend would be here to experience every part of it with me.

       I shouldn't refer to her as a best friend because in fact, she was like a sister. She knew almost everything about me, some things that no one else knew.  When something happened, good or bad, small or big, she was the first to know. As cliche as it sounds, we were the best of friends. Although we experienced some of the best memories together, we also experienced the worse. From the lost of a family member to heartaches from boys; we went through it all. It was a blessing in so many ways but little did I know everything would all change.

       It was the first few weeks of school and I began to meet new people through my cousin and because of new friendships that we're being built, I slowly started to drift away from my best friend. She felt as if I had forgotten about her because of the new friends I was making and the new people that I was constantly hanging out with. Action in this case, spoke way louder than words. At that moment nothing seemed wrong and I was totally unaware of how selfish my actions were. I only cared about myself and my reputation. Rumors went around and gossip lingered in the air, half of which weren't even true. We started talking less to each other and more about each other. At first it wasn't bad, we were just "distant friends" After about a month, things were far worst than they were before. My best friend had become my enemy and I had become hers.

       Instead of running to each other in hallways, we walked past each other as if we never met. We unfollowed and blocked each other on every social network you could think of. It was hard for me to accept the fact that the closest person to me was now the farthest person from me. I cried every night for months because I felt so alone. I was new into high school and my bestfriend, along with my whole group of friends, decided to turned against me. Not only did I feel alone, but I knew that it was true. She went from knowing every single detail about me, to not knowing me at all. Same went for me, I didn't know who she was anymore. They say that pain changes you.. I agree. 

       It's been a year since this all happened but there are still days where I cry and wish things didn't change. In the midst of my loneliness and vulnerability, I learned that it is okay to be alone and that God has a purpose for everything we face, even if we don't understand it. It was in those moments where I discovered who I really was when I had no one there to remind me. Being the dependent person I was before, I would look for comfort in people and I would constantly rely on others to be there for me and keep me sane. Throughout this experience I learned to rely on myself and be my own bestfriend. I kept things to myself and built up walls around me so that I would never get close to someone again.. So that I gave no one the opportunity to hurt me. From then, my trust wasn't given out freely. Throughout this, I experienced a new level of strength that I never knew existed within me. We're starting to slowly talk again and become the friends we once were but I'm still learning new lessons through this whole situation. Someone once told me, "Different people come into your life for different seasons of your life" and I couldn't agree more with them.

Blog Revision

I changed my title to "Finding My Way" because I feel like it fits the season I'm going through. 'Finding My Way'  means exactly what it says. I'm trying to figure out who I am and so that is why I changed the title to a more suitable name for my blog. I also changed the background of my blog because I felt that it didn't suit my title. Rather, I put a picture of a path way because it perfectly portrays my title and it is relevant to one another. My old background seemed immature and it doesn't match who I am now. My new header does in some way show my graphic design skills because I was able to put together graphics in a more creative and artistic way rather than just one picture. By changing the texts accordingly to the content of the quote, it made a dramatic effect on the words. Lastly for my blog archive, I arranged it so it will organize the blog posts from newest to oldest and I also customized the way I wanted it to look to a certain point. I updated my blog and I feel that it suits me best.

Coming of Age - The Unthinkable

        It was the first day of high school and I was overwhelmed with emotions. It was a whole new campus filled with faces I've never seen before. I was scared but at the same time, I couldn't contain my excitement. I constantly wondered what this new place would have in store for me. After all, I was going to be here for the next 4 years. The most comforting part was that I knew my best friend would be here to experience every part of it with me.

       I shouldn't refer to her as a best friend because in fact, she was like a sister. She knew almost everything about me, some things that no one else knew.  When something happened, good or bad, small or big, she was the first to know. As cliche as it sounds, we were the best of friends. We would do everything together. We had countless sleepovers where we wouldn't actually sleep but instead, watched movies and talked about the most nonsense topics to the most life changing. We hung out all the time and if we weren't actually physically hanging out, we were either texting, calling, or webcamming. No matter where we were, we still knew everything that was going on with one another. Although we experienced some of the best memories together, we also experienced the worse. From the lost of a family member to heartaches from boys; we went through it all. We were always there to uplift each other and for the boy problems, we would be right there to remind each other of how worthy and valuable each other were and that we didn't need boys anyways because we had each other and our friendship was far more important and greater than a relationship. Ive never put so much trust in a person before and our friendship was no doubt one that I treasured. It was a blessing in so many ways but little did I know everything would all change.

       People always told me, "things are different in high school", "you're most likely gonna have a different group of friends from middle school", "everything's going to change" We both heard the same lines from different people but we never wanted to believe them. We knew our friendship was stronger than anything that would try to come between. At least that's what we thought. I began to meet new people through my cousin and because of new friendships that we're being built, I slowly started to drift away from my friend. My best friend. At that moment nothing seemed wrong and I was totally unaware of how selfish my actions were. I only cared about myself and MY reputation. I only cared about myself and my feelings. I wanted anything and everything that would give me a good reputation in school. I wanted to be popular. Rumors went around and gossip lingered in the air, half of which weren't even true. We started talking less to each other and more about each other. At first it wasn't bad, we were just "distant friends" After about a month, things were far worst than they were before. My best friend had become my enemy and I had become hers.

       Instead of running to each other in hallways, we walked past each other as if we never met. We unfollowed and blocked each other on every social network you could think of. As a matter of fact, out of anger and frustration, I deleted half of the pictures we had together. It was so hard for me to accept the fact that the closest person to me was now the farthest thing from me. I cried every night for months because I felt so alone. I was new into high school and because of the rumors ad gossip that got around, my whole group of friends decided to turned against me. Not only did I feel alone, but I knew that it was true. I had no one. I cried whenever I got the chance to. Usually when I would go through something or anything, I would turn to her because she'd always have the right things to say and if not that, she would just be a good listener. This time it was different. I couldn't go to her for help about my problem like I usually would, because this time she was the problem. Not in that way, but you know what I mean. She went from knowing every single detail about me, to not knowing me at all. Same went for me, I didn't know who she was anymore. They say that pain changes you and because of this, I can't agree more with it.

       It's been a year since this all happened but there are still days where I cry and wish things didn't change. In the midst of my loneliness and vulnerability, I learned that it is okay to be alone and that God has a purpose for everything we face, even if we don't understand it. It was in those moments where I discovered who I really was when I had no one there to tell me. I experienced a new level of strength that I never knew existed within me. Someone once told me, "Different people come into your life for different seasons of your life" and I couldn't agree more with them.

Second Semester Portfolio

Hello Parentals!,

This is my Second Semester Portfolio that I created. It is a website containing my best works which display the six GLO's that we've been talking about in class. Please take a look at my portfolio and respond back to the following question. Thank You for taking your time out to read this!

“What did you learn about your child’s achievements and experiences in MeneMAC this past year?"


http://eq2k14.weebly.com

Merchant of Venice (Character Analysis) DRAFT

Merchant of Venice

Selfish, prideful, cruel, and unmerciful. All the meanest and rude words you can think of, probably describe Shylock. Shylock is a moneylender in Venice and generally speaking doesn’t have the best reputation there. He is a jew, asked to lend money to a rich merchant named Antonio, a christian. Antonio originally asks for money on behalf of his good friend Bassanio. Although, why does Antonio ask Shylock for money instead of Bassanio and why does Bassanio need these three thousand ducats? Well, Antonio has a good reputation in the economical world and Bassanio, well he wants the money simply for love. He needs money to go and visit Portia, the girl of his dreams. It’s all about love, religion, money and culture. Shylock is one of the most unique characters because when things don’t go according to his ways, he turns into worse of a person than he already is. There’s so much to learn from his actions and thoughts. Shylock in this play is a prime example of a crook and one who exemplifies cruelty.

In the beginning of the play, when the bond is made, you already can see the tension between the three men. “Three thousand ducats for three months; and / Antonio bound.” (Merchant of Venice, 1.3.9-10) Antonio becomes the guarantor because of his wealthiness and reliability to pay Shylock back the money. Trust is already established and the men are set on an agreement to lend and borrow money. Shortly after, the tension rises and conflict already takes place. “Yes, to smell pork; to eat of the habitation which / your prophet the Nazarite conjured the evil into! I will buy / with you, sell with you, talk with you, walk with you, and so /  following: but I will not eat with you, drink with you, nor / pray with you(...)” (Merchant of Venice, 1.3.29-33) Shylock being the Jew already shows his stubbornness and immaturity of rejecting the invitation to dinner with Antonio and Bassanio. They simply ask him to join for dinner and talk to him more about the agreement but he turns them down because of their differences in religion. In continuation, he is very mean and cruel. He starts to ask and wonder what would happen if somehow they wouldn’t be able to pay him back in time. “If he should break his day, what should I gain / By the exaction of the forfeiture? / A pound of man’s flesh, taken from a man, / Is not so estimable, profitable neither, / As flesh of muttons, beefs, or goats(...)” (Merchant of Venice, 1.3.160-164) Shylock exposes his cruelty through this action of consequence, his actions show how he really is on the inside, very tough and mean. His decision of consequence display the hate and cockyness that he has for these two men Antonio and Bassanio. Many people who witnessed the storyline of the play agreed upon the dislike of this character. In the beginning actions of shylock you can already identify the kind of selfish person he is.

The pridefulness of Shylock gets in the way of many things and stops him from doing the nobel actions in this play. After talking about not going to the dinner, he makes up his mind and decides to go. Although, he is very resistant in the fact of going. He says, “(...) Hear you me, Jessica - / Lock up my doors, and when you hear the drum / And the vile squealing of the wry-necked fife, / Clamber up not you up to the casements then, / Nor thrust your head to the public street / To gaze on Christian fools with varnished faces: / But stop my house’s ears, I mean my casements / Let not the sound of shallow fopp’ry enter / My sober house. (...)” (Merchant of Venice, 2.5.29-35) The way that Shylock reacts towards christians shows his immaturity to be humble and civil even with people who are different from him. Shylock shows that he has no forgiveness and is a cold hearted man with many grudges held against people.

Shylock has a daughter named Jessica. She isn’t very pleased with her father's actions and the man he has become. In fact, she dislikes him with as much respect possible and doesn’t agree with being a Jew. After Shylock came back from the dinner with Antonio and Bassanio, he came across very devastating news that even a good man wouldn’t want to experience. “(...) You knew, none so well, none so well as you, of my / - of my daughter’s flight.” (Merchant of Venice, 3.1.20-21) His daughter had left the home and so called ran away with no notice or goodbye. This left Shylock feeling betrayed and abandoned by his own “blood and flesh” Shortly after, he was hit with another piece of shocking news. “(...) But tell us, do you hear / whether Antonio have had any loss at sea or no?” (Merchant of Venice, 3.1.34-35) Shylock answers back in a stressed but delighted tone. First his daughter leaves him and now he comes to find out that Antonios merchant ships have been lost at seas. The fact that the ships are lost becomes a big deal because the ships also contain Antonios money that he would use to payback the money. Shylock becomes excited and happy because this meant that he was closer to the fact of taking a pound of flesh if the men didn’t pay him back in time. As selfish and cruel of a man he is, this secures the ideas and opinions that we as readers assumed of him. This officially shows that he is a no-good man.

After seeing and witnessing the character traits and personality of Shylock, you think he’s a very shady guy. At the end of the play, you see the worst sides of this man. After finding out that Antonio's ships got lost at sea and he won't make it in time to pay the money that was lended, Shylock is full of joy. “I am very glad of it, I’ll plague him, I’ll torture him, I / am glad of it! (Merchant of Venice, 3.1.96-97) This shows the most raw personality and ultimate cruelty of Shylock and his unmerciful self. We can now say with no doubt that he is a crook and a man of no nobelity. While at the court, Portia, disguised as the “Doctor of Law”, found a loophole in the bond and said, “Tarry a little: there is something else. / This bond doth give thee here no jot of blood - / The words expressly are ‘a pound of flesh’; / Take then thy bond, take then thy pound of flesh, / But in the cutting it, if thou dost shed / One drop of Christian blood, thy lands and goods / Are by the laws of Venice confiscate / Unto the state of Venice. (Merchant of Venice, 4.1.302-309) When portia finally finds the loophole, she proposes her discovery to Shylock. This meant that Shylock could not perform his task of taking one pound of flesh. Shylock became very furious and frustrated because he was so close to getting his pleasure of torturing one of the men. His plan was ruined and there was nothing he could do or say to back himself up. Agreements and adjustments are made and in the most broken tone of voice, he says, “Nay, take my life and all, pardon not that. / You take my house, when you take the prop / That doth sustain my house: you take my life, / When you do take the means whereby I live. (Merchant of Venice, 4.1.370-373) In this moment, the ending of the book, you can say that your assumptions of Shylock being a shady man is true. You can gain the whole world but lose yourself and thats exactly what happened to Shylock. He was one of Venice richest men and he had nothing but wealth although he used it with the wrong heart and now we see that he’s torn. We as readers see all sides of shylock, even when hes broken at this lowest point. It shows us who he really is when all the materialistic things in his life are taken from him. These last moments of Shylock in the book shows us all sides of his personality and his character by now is definitely portrayed and we no longer assume, but know how he truly is.

After reading this entire book, we can conclude that shylock is a guy with many flaws. His conniving ways make us second guess every move that he takes, it keeps us readers on our toes and curious to how he will react to the next situation. Although Shylock may have an ounce of a good man's heart, we can more say with confidence that Shylock in this play is a prime example of a crook and one who exemplifies cruelty.

Merchant of Venice (w/ Malina)

INDIVIDUAL WORK

1. I agree with this statement because I've judged people by their outward appearances. Most of the time, my assumptions weren't correct about the person. Like they always say, "don't judge a book by it's cover" and that saying can be used in many different situations for all categories of places, people & things. 

2. ** DONT UNDERSTAND

3. I really agree with this statement becuase it can connect to bestfriends. Bestfriends share secrets, tell each other the deep things, open up to one another, stay by each other's sides and so forth. A relationship between a man and a women is very much similar. Both types of relationships hang out together and have the same qualities. Therefore, if the relationship between two brothers was to it's full extent, their relationship would be just as strong as a relationship between a man and women if true relationship was to the full extent as well. 

4. I agree with this statement because I believe that it's possible. I've witnessed people do it and I myself have been in this situation. Although I don't believe it's the right thing to do, it is a bad thing to commit to but I agree that you could break a promise with a good excuse. 

5. Love is blind, yes. I recognize my friends being blinded by so called "love". I, as a true friend to them, try to show them the things that they may not notice. Whether it be good or bad. Love does shut your eyes out from seeing what you normally would. If a partner is treating the other bad, and they're blinded by love, they wouldn't notice anything and they'd only see the good. 

6. Yes I agree with this statement. Even though it's kind of mean and brutal, especially on how our world sees racism. Majority stereo types can predict pretty well on how a group of people would be. 

7. No, I don't agree with this statement. Even though someone may have done you wrong, I don't think it's right for you to repay them for what they did to you. You should be the bigger person in any situation. If you decide to hold resentment and grudges, you'll be the one the suffer and it will only dig yourself a bigger hole. 

PARTNER WORK 

1. Usually when I'm sad I never really understood why. Such as when I'm trying to sleep late at night I feel really depressed and usually overthink. But then I think, there's nothing in my life that's actually making me feel like that. I basically just put myself down about being sad about nothing. My sadness aren't usually " strange " because I get sad very fast and when I get sad I overthink which makes the issue worse. But sometimes my sadness are strange because I get sad and I also feel sad during random times.

2.  I feel like this hasn't change. People take money really serious and money is important to them. Without money in this society you won't be able to provide for you're family or be successful. Money is also very hard to gain, you have to work very hard for it. You can't just lend money to people because what if they don't pay you back? You are loosing money in you're pocket.

3. I think this is right because if they are really poor I would lend them large amounts to help them get back on their feet. Sometimes when you do things you do it for the thought of it and you never do consider getting payed back because you did it from you're heart. The other person that recieves the money has to be reasonable and can't always count on you to pay them.

4. In society these days we already have conflict between love and religion. Even in our governments we have controversial arguments about what is right and what is wrong. So in this play it would make sense to clash.

Of Mice and Men movie poster - Madison, Tyler, Nainoa & Elizabeth